Mother’s Day

Last month, visiting our friends in San Diego was a whole new experience in our friendship.  We all knew each other from when we lived around New Haven, and things were so different then- since that time, we’ve gotten married, and had kids, and bought houses.  So it was funny how our deep similarities have kept us along the same path even though we hadn’t seen each other in almost 6 years.  But what I was thinking about today is that Elaine and I talked more about our childhoods and our family in that week than we had in the years we’d been friends before.  And of course it’s because we’re engaged in the same big experiment that our mothers were when we were children, so we can see it from the other side, and we think all the time, “How did my mom do this?  Should I do it that way?  Should I try something else?”  It doesn’t always apply, because my mom never tried to blog left-handed as she played sheepdog, but my mom (or my fallible memory of how she did things) is still the base line I would start from.  It’s always going to be an experiment without a control, because you only get one try at each decision.  Even having another kid, the conditions are completely different from the first one, so it’s a whole new game again.  The one thing Elaine and I agreed on instantly was that our moms seemed much more confident- maybe having 3 kids in 3 years just doesn’t leave any time for self-doubt.  Or anything else.

I can say now, the more I think I about it, I wouldn’t change a thing about my mom, even to this day.  Our friends even asked to borrow her when I told them how she was our travelling nanny and caterer last September, letting us do our first bike tour since Noah. She’s coming down for a couple of weeks at the end of May and I can go to a 4-day conference with no worries, because she will just watch Noah and consider that a vacation for her. 

I guess there is one thing I would like to change- she really ought to live down the street from me.

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1 Comment

  1. Lorna Hendry said,

    May 8, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    Thanks for the kind comments. A few of the major decisions we made for you kids I still wonder about to this day — for example, letting you and Eileen move ahead a grade. We were lucky to have such good kids. I feel sorry for the moms who get rotten eggs who turn out wrong no matter how much they are loved and cared for and for the foster moms looking after the ones whose moms couldn’t care for them for whatever reason.


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